I’ve had an Awakening.  And I feel like a child learning about this life all over again.  I’m seeing everything in so many different ways- And, it’s beautiful.  It’s amazing.  It’s so. good.

Our church has introduced T-Groups – discipleship groups, where we learn, grow, support one another, and ultimately learn how to become a real disciple.  I knew I needed to join one, but I also knew that it was a raw, soul-bearing, intense study.  Clearly, I would need to do this study with two women that I felt 100% comfortable.  I prayed that God would send those women.  And he did– in a big way.  I just love the two women that I am working with.  I feel so honored that God placed them in my path, and has me on this journey.  They validate me, challenge me, love me.  And I am so thrilled. 

Joe has also joined a group with two men that he likes to hang with.  The fact that we are on this journey together excites me beyond words.  God always knows what we need.  He always provides.   

I heard this song tonight, a song that I love so much.  It always spoke to me, but I was never at a point where I fully understood it.

Tonight, I did.  While thinking about the Awakening that I’ve been going through, the transformation… parts have been tough, but I’m doing it.

And I think I have figured out what God wants – why the fitness, why the t-group, why the commitment to stay at my current school and forego any other job offers.  It’s the mission field.  I’ll be going on a mission trip within the next year- Somewhere.  

And here’s the song.  Every single word spoke to me today.  Through this transformation, this awakening. 

‘Awakening’ – by Sara Groves

Dress down your pretty faith. Give me something real.
Leave out the thee and thou and speak to me now.
Speak to my pain and confusion.
Speak through my fears and my pride.
Speak to the part of me that knows I’m something deep down inside.

I know that I am not perfect, but compare me to most,
In a world of hurt and a world of anger I think I’m holding my own.
And I know that you said there is more to life.
And I know I am not satisfied.
But there are mornings I wake up and I’m just thankful to be alive.

I’ve known now, for quite a while, that I am not whole.
I’ve remembered the body and the mind,
But disected my soul.
Now something inside is awakening,
Like a dream I once had and forgot.
And it’s something I’m scared of
And something I don’t want to stop.

And I woke up this morning and realized that Jesus is not a portait.
Where stained glass windows or hymns or the tradition that surrounds us.
And I thought it would be hard to believe in
But it’s not hard at all.
To believe I’ve sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.

And He’s not asking me to change in my joy for martyrdom
He’s asking to take my place.
To stand in the gap that I have formed
With His real, and His sweet, and His real amazing grace.
And it’s not just a sign or a sacrament.
It’s not just a metaphor for love.
The blood is real and it’s not just a symbol of your faith.

So leave out the thee and thou and speak now.

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